How to Become a Human Relations Expert

© 2001 Boaz Rauchwerger

In chapter one of Dale Carnegie's book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People," he mentions a world-famous psychologist who proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies showed that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.

Another great psychologist said, "As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation." The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.

The point of this chapter is DON'T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN. I suggest you begin by asking questions rather than criticizing. "How could we do this differently next time?" is much more productive than "You goofed!" I also suggest you keep a copy of Carnegie's book close by. When a challenging moment arrives, stop. Pick up the book and read any page. That step will shift your gears into a more productive direction.

A Daily Human Relations Affirmation

I look for the good and am careful not to ciriticize, condemn or complain.