It's All in the Family

© 2003 Boaz Rauchwerger

You may or may not be old enough to remember the “Leave it to Beaver” television show of the 1960’s. It depicted the daily life of the Cleaver family. Father worked, mother took care of the family and the home and they all sat down together for dinner each evening.

Fast forward to 2003 and I wonder what happened to that vision? Did someone change the channel when we weren’t watching? Now a large part of the population is comprised of one-parent families. With a divorce rate of about 50%, many households seem to be broken.

In addition, our fast-paced society appears to exist on fast foods, an abundance of stress, dinners in front of the TV and very little quality communication between family members.

My girlfriend’s brother and sister-in-law recently invited us to dinner at their home. I was so touched by what I experienced there that evening that I wanted to share it with you. It gave me real hope for the American family. If I didn’t know better, I thought I’d found the real Cleavers.

The father and mother, Matt and Lori, have been married for 16 years. He’s a partner in an appraisal company and she works at home to take care of the family. They have four children: Jami Sue is 23, Danielle, or “Dani,” is 15 years old, Dylan is 13 and Samantha, or “Sami,” is 11.

As we shared the wonderful Mexican dinner Lori had prepared, a lively conversation took place around the dining room table. I learned that Matt and Lori are raising their kids with a number of admirable guidelines. Computer and television times are monitored closely and have limits. Outdoor and craft activities are greatly encouraged.

Matt and Lori want their children to experience life hands on. If they make mistakes and stumble, so be it, that’s life.

So what do you get from specific, positive guidelines such as the ones these parents have set forth for their children? You get a picture of a family that is close-knit, loving and a model for modern-day America.

Let’s look more closely at Matt and Lori’s kids. Jami Sue, 23, recently married, attended Moody Bible School in Chicago and now lives in the area. Although she was not at this dinner, I had an opportunity to meet her, along with her new husband, at a previous event. She certainly exemplified the wonderful traits that seem to surround this loving family.

Danielle, at 15, is tall and lovely. She has a warm smile and is known as a quiet observer. The thing I observed about her was how she nurtures and guides her younger brother and sister. It was before dinner that I saw her giving Dylan an impromptu bear hug. It was genuine and it touched my heart.

Dylan is the 13-year-old. He’s outgoing, an adventurer and an aspiring entrepreneur. His dad is an avid fisherman and Dylan is too. Dylan’s new business venture is a neighborhood garbage can cleaning business. A possible slogan: “When it comes to clean garbage cans, I’m the law.”

Samantha, at age 11, has the market cornered when it comes to being young and cute. It was before dinner that I spotted her doing homework, on the floor, in a carpeted area of the garage. She was writing an essay about her brother, whom she obviously loves very much. With one roller blade on, she would periodically get up and skate around the garage. “I get ideas when I get up and skate. Then I write them down,” she told me.

These remarkable kids seem to fit so beautifully together. In reality, Danielle and Dylan were both adopted when they were infants. They had the same birth mother.

It was after they came along that Lori became pregnant with Samantha. However, as I said, these kids, in this loving and nurturing environment, fit beautifully together. They love each other as much as any brother and sisters could.

Since both of my children were adopted when they were infants, I was especially touched by this aspect of this special family.

So what’s wrong with this picture? We have two loving parents, four delightful children, all combined in a warm and loving family. Nothing. Maybe the idealism we saw in the Cleavers on TV has been brought into reality here.

Maybe it’s time to stop and realize that we don’t need to be in such a rush. People don’t FIND the time to sit down for a family dinner, with the TV off, every evening and communicate. People MAKE THE TIME for such togetherness when they declare it to be important.

This family seems to believe that it’s very important. It’s tough to argue with their results.

A Daily Family Affirmation

I make my family, togetherness, and clear communications top priorities.